don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
