I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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