I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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