recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
