Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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