I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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