I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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