And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
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