I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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