question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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