I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
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