grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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