There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
