dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
