i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
