I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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