tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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