I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
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