My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
