So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
