who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
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