I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
