I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
