pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I want to stick my p in your. b.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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