Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
