Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
