Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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