there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
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