Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
honey bunches of taint.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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