eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
