she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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