The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
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