Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
