she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
