He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
either way he was missing a nipple.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
