So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
a search helicopter?!
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
