Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
You took a bar mat shot.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
