When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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