it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
