Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i think i have herpe
just one?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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