Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
