I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
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