Don't make out with my wife yet
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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