if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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