I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
