I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
