margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
