You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
