Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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