my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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