So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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