maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
