i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
P.S. I can't hear my feet
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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