fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize
