so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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