my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
