All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
