Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
