Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
