He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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