WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
