just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
