ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
