Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
so much tequila, so little girl.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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