Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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