Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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